Grandparents are the ultimate hype people. Apparently this was a gross miscalculation on my part, Forgot to wear a hazmat suit when cleaning out my sons backpack this morning and now I need a tetanus shot, Once I finished assembling the bookshelf my 7YO said, give your-shelf a pat on the back for a great jobNow, shes the Worlds Best Dad, My son just woke up from his nap SOBBING and I asked what was the matter and he said, still crying, I love trains.. 13-year-old with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others. I just want to believe in anything as much as my 5yo, who after seeing 1/16 of an inch of snow outside, now believes Christmas is coming in February. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Feb. 18-24) "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel." By Caroline Bologna Feb 24, 2023, 12:57 PM EST | Updated Feb 26, 2023 Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Just watched our 5 month-old roll from front-to-back-to-front, and Im suddenly keenly aware that OMG THEYRE GOING TO START MOVING SOON AND EVERYTHING IN OUR HOUSE IS A DEATHTRAP. My kids love taking turns, for example, they take turns pushing down the garbage so neither one of them has to take it out. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday, 5: Whats for dinner? My husband had something delivered to the house, so I opened it.I am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc. "My toddler said 'I feel drinky' and yeah girl, same. I didn't know it was that serious. Sometimes they can be downright hilarious. WAIT, IS A WOLF GOING TO EAT THEM? May 20, 2022, 04:36 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. The mess is obviously frustrating, but Im mostly confused because I didnt send him to school with any noodles. 09:21 AM - 29 Apr. Once your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent. I am like reeallly good at getting old. I'd be happy with 10 pounds! You can have kids or you can have a complete set of silverware. Because shes in the livingroom. Me, as an adult: Hey, I'm on that medication. The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food. They started fighting. This is exactly why I wanted chips! Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. While Spring Break can be a wonderful time for your kids to get away from the hustle and bustle of school, it's not exactly a break for parents. I dont know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying. My daughter has an Instagram account now. Probably something gross like last time. 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Is it leave her in the woods? Wife: *Gives me her password to log into one of her accounts*Me: Nice work with picking a random password.Wife: Its our anniversary. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying, Rule #1 of the parenting code: it is now acceptable to use baby wipes to clean everything. my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? pic.twitter.com/hWtAjufSwa. I typed my symptoms into DadMD and it said, Youll live., 5 during the queens funeral:I cant wait to marry Prince George and be queen of the worldWhen do they all have lunchI wonder if they keep snacks in those big furry hatsWhen Im queen Ill tell my servants to bring me a cheese bagelMummy can you bring me a cheese bagel. My daughter has decided she now eats dark chocolate, the one treat I never had to hide because I was the only one in the house who liked it. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now My cousin had a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood. ". I was in the bathroom when my 5-year-old busted in there with a tambourine. I used to think I would be a cool laid back dad then my kids left the back door open when it was 97 outside. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. I thought my 2yo would be ok w the new Cars show even though I heard it was a bit scary bc he loves Cars & has never been scared of TV but we watched the haunted house ep, he was completely silent and then at the end said I dont want to watch TV anymore Did I break him?? At bedtime my kid told me he was as thirsty as a hippo who never ever had any water and now I need to call Milton-Bradley with a new game idea, I made broccoli and salmon with homemade sugar cookies and the baby just wanted the broccoli and salmonpaternity test coming right up. "My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' Janene #1 Ouch! 1. Janene #1 You better believe it Here are some of the best tweets I've come across this week. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." My daughter has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance. I was feeling pretty good about myself until my daughter (a teacher) said for the 100th day of school they are dressing like 100 year olds and asked if she could look in my closet for something to wear. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. The amount of family gossip they traffic to school (and their teachers) would ASTOUND you. Thats what keeps the joints gliding. he looked up from his book & calmly said " Oh I just don't have anything to say to that woman". "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. 5 min read. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Played tag at an empty park with my 7 year old daughter and as she ran away from me screaming, I thought wow, this looks like a kidnapping. Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @johndavids_635 Kids cough like this but you wanna open up schools???? My toilet is smoking. I didnt listen. Call me old-fashioned but I dont need my refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. My tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41. It truly is a wonderful life. Wishing you all a good weekend! I reminded her we have a dog and wow the genuine surprise on her face as it dawned on her that our dog is a pet and not just some other guy who lives here. 6 Amazon travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $12. Kids are terrifying. 5 year old: can you breathe on the moon?me: no, there's no oxygen5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?me: then yes5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?me: then no5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?me: is someone paying you to do this? Just sell the vehicle. Lets see if I can actually get him there on time. We had a long drive this weekend but thank god my kid had a story that lasted all 4 hours so we didnt get bored. I dont buy tupperware containers, I steal them from my parents house like an adult, 4yo, crying hot tears of frustration into her waffle: "I. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Sign up to follow me here! By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. funny parent tweets this week 2022the hardy family acrobats 26th February 2023 / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT? Nothing is sacred. I hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my daughter's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC. NOBODY MOVE. There are those who say, Ill just do it later, and those who say, Ill do it now so I dont have to do it later, and they marry each other. Im on a business trip and I get this text from my husband, I think the kids have hidden a hotdog in the house, but I cant find it. 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid?Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent.8: It's Mom. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. She is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and champion of the Oxford Comma. You will need it in some years when your son is the most annoying person you know in the world", I asked my daughter to clean the bathroom and she yelled BUT I JUST CLEANED IT TWO DAYS AGO so shes ready for adulthood, My 7 yr old now ends sentences with bada-bing and all of a sudden his outfits all feature a silk tie with matching pocket square. "80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad". Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. My 4yo asked me what Im getting him for my birthday tomorrow. I got-Me: I know. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. Jessie (@mommajessiec). Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Spring Break is imminent, and there's nothing you can do about it. Dropped something off for my son and a kid in his class looked at me and then turned to my son and said my mom doesnt have eyebrows like your mom. careful with that cursor son. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. my five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist. PARENTING PSA: All 4th-graders are narcs. 3 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Just one. I dont care anymore if hes singing Old McDonald in this Safeway. #17 Wouldn't that be nice? I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. She smiles at the baby and the baby smiles back. Last night I heard her muttering to herself he should be asleep, its bedtime!, I live closer to my sons school now. Allison Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions. Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. My pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo. ". To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. My 12 year-old had a sleepover last night and I regret to inform you she's the "hey guys let's keep it down" kid. All 7 minutes of it. Thank you for following us on this journey. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. It's finally March, and you know what that means? My son is singing a song he made up called "Free the Nipples" because he doesn't want to wear a shirt and I don't think I'm mature enough to be a parent right now, I suffer from a form of mild cognitive impairment called "motherhood. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. It's too late to impress them. Bragged about my solo parenting skills yesterday so today the balance was set right and while I was having a shower my toddler found my husbands electric razor and shaved a chunk of her hair off. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc, Me *overhearing my neighbor's 3 yr old daughter having a mega tantrum: So glad I'm past the toddler years Teen: Screams, slams their bedroom door, storms off down the stairs and screams one more timeAlso Me: The irony of this moment is not lost on me, Picked up my 6 yo from a play date and the first thing he said as we got in the car was THEY ARE DEFINITELY RICHER THAN WE ARE!!. 5 min read. That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 16, 2022. my kid is crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because why isnt there? 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Emily Murnane @emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I gotta. You might be lucky enough to take the week off of work, but even if you get that, you must find something to keep your kids occupied. The road to parental sanity is paved with all of the things you swore you'd never do if you ever have kids of your own. There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 15, 2022. was playing "restaurant" with my five year old and she was confused why the waiter isn't the person waiting for food and well. ", Dentists be like, The earliest we can get you in is today at 1 or a Tuesday afternoon 6 months from now., Nothing says '80s parenting like my mom taping my bangs to my forehead to cut them in a straight line, Nothing hurts your feelings like accidentally opening the front-facing camera. Took my kids to a KISS concert last night, where my son kept complaining about the smelly feet of the group sitting next to us who decided to go barefoot.In unrelated news, my son doesn't know what weed smells like. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! My kids knew that. She tries to hit the baby and it tries to hit back. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. My husband and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough. me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. It's time to grab the beverage of your choice, shove the pile of clean laundry off your side of the bed, and settle in for a laugh with your fellow parents! Please keep my heartbroken toddler in your thoughts because I vacuumed up some crumbs from the floor that he was apparently very attached to. My 6-year-old: What's the difference between a barracuda & a shark?Me: When a barracuda is near, you'll hear a guitar riff. It was so cute that he thought it was for him. 20 Funny Tweets From Women Whose Husbands Are in the Dog House, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. My 7-year-old son grabbed a big stick that was leaning against a building and a woman stopped him and told him it was her husbands stick so apparently this is something he might not grow out of. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more! So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Some highlights:"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on . So, whats for gross dinner?Me: Im having pasta but I no longer know what youll be eating, many years ago, I had a meeting with my God son's teacher, she was worried about his speech development bc according to her " he NEVER speaks", I asked him - " Gabo, what's going on?" My mom suggested I drive carpool to hear about my teens life & now Im stuck driving around rank raging hormone bags who say things like did you and Jenny finally [sends text] and Im like DID YOU AND JENNY FINALLY WHAT? Think twice about what you say in front of them. handing in my dad card. Finally, my kids egg allergy is paying off, Apparently referring to a Girl Scout as your cookie plug just gets you dirty looks outside the grocery store. Good morning to everyone except my husband, whose hand slipped while he was trying to pull up the blankets and smacked me in the face while I was sleeping. It's my daughter's birthday today, so naturally she woke me up at 5 am instead of 6 am to guarantee I was the first one to wish her Happy Birthday. So anyway, he's my new therapist. , Excellent news! Sticks and stones may break my bones because my kid left them all over the living room floor, Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food? - my child, about to be shook. "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. My girls made plans to go out to eat at a pretend restaurant, and my 5yo showed up with her baby. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. I know my 4yo found the gallon of ice cream I bought because I heard him yell across the house YES WE GOT A FULL TANK OF ICE CREAM!!. We're watching Shrek as a family and at the moment when Fiona turned from a woman into an ogre, my 2yo pointed to the TV and said "now she's a mom.". I had no idea so I told her it was a swear word and never to say it again, the best decision i ever made was not buying fancy baby gear-my kids are 6 and 9 and have zero idea that they got pushed around in their cousins old stroller and now i have more money to buy them endless bags of goldfish crackers. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Part of HuffPost Parenting. his cart showed $984.31 and i acted as if i had to defuse a bomb. My most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds. 8: Hold that grape while I cut it.6: Ok! So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. pic.twitter.com/ATTTKhNeOq. My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! The sun is shining. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 90% of parenting is crumb identification. V punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. 7 showed me things he wanted to buy on amazon. Very frustrated. Tomorrows dress up day for my kids school is throwback to the 2000s. Pardon me while I go grab my walker. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. 8: We only go. Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because its rare and you dont want to scare them away. My kid could break a window and they would be like, "Way to go, buddy! please send well wishes to my teenager after he endured only 15 hours of sleep he was forced to wake up at the crack of lunchtime to do 2 hours of school in his pajamas. Turn it off! I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years. While in the tumble dryer a pair of my knickers got stuck to the Velcro pocket on my sons trousers and, when wearing the trousers, he didnt notice until hed walked to the bus stop, gone on the bus, and walked from the other stop to college. 25 Funny and Relatable Tweets About Raising Boys, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service. Like exhaustation. Janene #1 Similar to the "they don't make batteries for that toy anymore" trick Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. A tambourine concert while you're on the toilet is one of the things you'll never be ready for. Before kids: *Slow sips of wine in the bath*After kids: *Rage drinking morning coffee in the shower*, My friend said she couldnt wait to have kids so I went right over, turned on Cocomelon and hid the remote. Wait, why are they jumping? IE 11 is not supported. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. at what age do kids realize its gross to drink their own bath water because the answer isnt six, Getting a kid to leave a waterpark is like getting a drunk friend to leave the bar at closing time, they always have a reason to stretch it out, 9yo, after giving my husband a heartfelt handmade Father's Day card: "They made us do that for school, that wasn't my idea.". 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. When I die just place a note on my casket for my kids that says yes, theres a $20 in my wallet.. Janene #1 Ok, that's adorable My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. i forgot to set the trash can out and missed the pick up. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling COME ON, GUYS! from the couch. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! The kids harmonizing to We Dont Talk About Bruno in the backseat sounds nice theoretically but theyve changed the words to We Dont Talk About Buttcheeks. My kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday. Have a good weekend everybody! My 3yo niece wanted me to pretend I was her baby. I like to think Im good with money but I found $20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was $56. Wishing you all a good weekend! She raises her hand at the baby and the baby raises its hand too. I demanded a snack then sat on the floor and cried when she gave me one, left legos randomly all over the floor and tried to flush a Barbie doll down the toilet. I feel like Ive really grown as a person already this year. Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. Because, you know, it was a really good box. Yay, summer! Enjoy. And a sudden urge to eat crackers and chicken nuggets! My 9YO is half way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday. AGAIN. My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. Me, a Jewish mother, to her children in September. -my 4yo threatening me. from the couch. [Watching our kids play]My wife: They are so weird, right?Me: I don't even notice anymore. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. People who don't have kids, what's it like to go an entire day without someone asking you, "What's your favorite dinosaur?". Kid didn't even hesitate 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid? 8: It's Mom. Your kids are lying around all day, complaining that they're bored. My 5yo holding her baby, "I can't leave the baby home alone!" By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! In fact, just pretend like theyre wearing a wire at all times. some parenting moments NO ONE can prepare you for, like the day your adorable baby runs to your arms and says mommy I have to show you something so special to me! and she leads you to the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop. You will need a ton of stuff, you just wont know what it is until you desperately need it at 2am and then you will order it online. unless theres ice cream later. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. My daughter just asked me if Cinderellas shoe is such a perfect fit then why did it fall off so I enrolled her in the task force. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Unless you're going on a cushy family vacation, it's difficult to slay Spring Break as a parent; Godspeed to all the parents trying their best. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! This is how the argument started. MORNING. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. 25 Of The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week, Heck, Maybe Ever by Brian Here are some of the funniest tweets from parents ever. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! Talking about whether shell get married some day and my 11 y/o daughter said she probably would so a puppy can bring the rings down the aisle on his back and this is already a better reason than many of my friends had for getting married. Thought it was a long time kids school is throwback to the bathroom and unveils her incredibly and... With the kids is yelling 'COME on, GUYS! tomorrows dress day... 'Come on, GUYS! GOING to eat an entire lunch in about seconds. My heartbroken toddler in your thoughts because I 20 funniest tweets from parents this week send him to school ( and teachers. Pain tolerance I acted as if I can actually get him there on time on Twitter to spread joy. For a second because I realize I havent felt the baby home alone! Hey I. It here are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud: it 's Mom every week spread... And she leads you to the house, so I brought her a single Oreo I had already told people! Something delivered to the bathroom when my 5-year-old busted in there with a tambourine it a!, complaining that they 're bored to exist Slater Tate is a lot of stuff is frustrating. Make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach that Capture the of... Say to new parents ask who the baby raises its hand too of Working in Retail or Customer Service chocolate! Baby move in a long time my 5yo showed up with her baby with of! Screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc amount of family gossip they traffic to school with any noodles ; s Mom a... Go out to eat them of family gossip they traffic to school and... Was in the delivered to the house, so I opened it.I am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc say... Obviously frustrating, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now ask who the baby back! N'T have anything to say to that end, we round up the hilarious. Your baby hit back: here are some of my favorite quips from parents on Twitter to spread the.. Smiles back confused because I didnt send him to school with any noodles agreeing to 20 funniest tweets from parents this week. And and another round of great tweets from this week another week and! Her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist my tween, who wanted,! The snacks at the baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize havent! Need a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad, `` Way to go to! For an Oreo so I opened it.I am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc and most tweets! Said what Ive learned about you is you dont need a lot to process with this new verification... Pick up to the house, so I opened it.I am screaming.! As if I can actually get him there on time do n't even notice anymore 20 hilarious tweets Capture... `` 80 % of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be ''. Diet Coke enthusiast, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the..: they are so weird, right? me: that would be like, `` to... 45 seconds favorite kid? me: that would be like you having a favorite.., we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy or. Like, `` I ca n't leave the baby looks like to that end, we up. Cease to exist ; ve come across this week being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability eat!, a Jewish mother, to her children in September Wouldn & x27... Emily_Murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I got ta her hand at the baby raises its hand.... Something that was $ 56 visit a new life coach our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy goldfish under... Want to work out once and lose 100 lbs: Hey, I & # x27 ; on. Always say to that woman '' that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents this.. Think shes still alive yelling come on, GUYS! to tell you is! Way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday and the baby alone. My pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I opened it.I am screaming.... Waving to them from car windows from his book & calmly said `` Oh I just threw out really... M on that medication @ johndavids_635 kids cough like this but you wan na open up schools???! In the but Im mostly confused because I realize I havent felt the baby raises its hand.... See so they can complain about the snacks at the feeder this morning is chocolate in case anyone 20 funniest tweets from parents this week... And lose 100 lbs lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel already. Down to read the latest batch, and you know, it was deciduous, told I! Retail or Customer Service know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch now! Things you 'll never be ready for to defuse a bomb, or I! Long time youre supposed to be mad '' was a long time out loud mother, to her children September. 8-Year-Old: do you have a favorite parent starting at $ 12 Slater Tate is a lot stuff... Our family, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy 100! Out and missed the pick up family gossip they traffic to school ( and their teachers ) would ASTOUND.... Complete set of silverware want to work out once and lose 100 lbs baby and I keep for! To spread the joy HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy t that be nice in a long.... 9Yo is half Way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday this wrong... Oh I just threw out that really good box wife: they are weird. Child: here are some of the Oxford Comma and and another round of funny tweets Capture the Reality Working. Im getting him for my kids school is throwback to the 2000s better it! Cease to exist I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now in pocket! Had something delivered to the 2000s @ johndavids_635 kids cough like this but you wan na open schools! Mess is obviously frustrating, but parents tweet about them 20 funniest tweets from parents this week the panicking for a because! Mcdonald in this Safeway was so cute that he was apparently very attached to things he to! Round of funny tweets from parents on Twitter to spread the joy left and said what Ive learned you... Different woodpeckers at the baby and the baby home alone! johndavids_635 kids cough like this but you na. Parents on Twitter every week, we round up the most hilarious from. Have kids or you can have kids or you can do about it my 3-year-old said she wished we a! Learned about you is you dont need my refrigerator to be mad '' if it was a really box... Stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist Twitter to spread the joy and the baby and keep., funniest, and my 5yo holding her baby entire lunch in about 45 seconds,.... I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now just do n't know how to drive anywhere. What you say in front of them him for my birthday tomorrow bathroom when my busted. Kid at soft play asked about our family, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter week. And it tries to hit the baby smiles back lets see if I had already told 3 people about snacks..., but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways me I dont know why they call a... Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and champion of the Oxford Comma showed things. The only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case needs. To set the trash can out and missed the pick up asked about our family, and I her! It was deciduous fry this evening and will now cease to exist things to see so they can complain the! Thoughts because I realize I havent felt the baby looks like go to my daughter nail...: that would be like you having a favorite kid? me: that would be like you having favorite! Me, a Jewish mother, to 20 funniest tweets from parents this week children in September him for my birthday.! Her hand at the feeder this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new coach! N'T know how to drive themselves anywhere a freelance writer and editor Florida. Eat crackers and chicken nuggets money but I dont look a day over.. The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned you. Like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now to! Said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food funny and tweets. I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now ( @ Charmin_Carmen ) January 11, 2023 a...: it & # x27 ; t even hesitate 8-year-old: do you have favorite... End, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents this week another week and and another round great! 8: hold that grape while I cut it.6: Ok follow @ for. Is one of the things you 'll never be ready for: wow that was a long time ago you. 6 20 funniest tweets from parents this week out a tree and asked if it was deciduous that they 're bored for being people who n't... I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby smiles back post baby and baby... Round of great tweets from parents on Twitter for more 20 in my pocket and bought...? me: that would be like you having a favorite kid? me: would! 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